The Kogasa Chronicles
by piruriez
Summary: What happens when our favorite Karakasa goes around Gensokyo and tries to scare people? Well, if I were a better writer, funny things! Please R/R and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello to the peoples reading this little fanfic, it stemmed from the first time I played UFO (didn't get close to Shou of course), after trying Marisa, then Sanae, then Reimu this hatched, so enjoy their (metaphorical) Child!**

It was a night of the full moon, in which moonlight gently fell upon the dense congregation of bamboo stalks known as the Bamboo Forest of the Lost. Deep in this natural maze, a heterochromatic girl attempted to make her way through a particularly dense clump in the already difficult maze. "Where is that little bunny!?" she whined, attempting to stab her way through with an odd purple umbrella with an eye painted on it and a tongue lolling around.

The girl eventually gave up on trying to stab her way through and began to rant, "I swear, that couple was perfect for surprising, and right when I was about to surprise them, that damned bunny girl comes along and reveals my hiding place to them!" the girl began to rub a large bump on her head, "Then they got all mad and…".

Not too far away, a smaller girl with short, curly black hair with small rabbit ears poking out laughed as her small carrot necklace bounced up and down on her light pink dress.

"Oh boy! That was a good one!" she said in between breaths, taking care not to be too loud, in case the other girl was within earshot. "Hmm, Keine and Mokou shouldn't be too far away, let's see if I can recompense…" the bunny girl said as she made her way over to the other girl.

Meanwhile, the heterochromatic girl continued her rant until she heard a rustling in the stalks around her. "Who's that!?" The girl yelled out as she held her umbrella in an (ridiculous looking) offensive position. "Calm down, Kogasa, was it?" the bunny girl said as she walked out of the darkness of the stalks' shadows. Upon seeing her, Kogasa attempted to swing her umbrella, but the tongue had other ideas and swung backwards to hit Kogasa in the face, knocking her over the process.

"Tewi!" Kogasa yelled as she attempted to get back up, " When I get ahold of you-" " I told ya, calm down, yeesh, "Tewi said as she gave her hand to Kogasa, who tried pulling herself up, but got shocked by a joy buzzer in Tewi's hand.

" Hey put that down," Tewi said, eying Kogasa's (potentially dangerous) umbrella "Anyways, I came to give ya another chance, you wanted to surprise a couple? Lucky for you, I happen to know of one in close proximity to us, now if you'll follow me…"

* * *

Two girls, one with long, flowing hair that went down her light brown shirt and red pants plastered with amulets at random, and another with a strange green dress, and even stranger, a pair of horns atop her silver hair along with a fluffy tail swaying slowly back and forth in a strange manner, sat atop a thick fallen bamboo stalk in the middle of a small clearing and were staring contentedly at a small fire that was burning cheerfully.

The horned girl sighed happily as she rested her head against the other girl's shoulder, "Mokou, how is it that you can make the best of meals from close to nothing?" The other girl, Mokou, blushed slightly and leaned her head against the other girl's head, or at least she tried to, but the girl's horns proved to be quite the formidable opponent and Mokou ended up getting a small cut on her cheek and began to bleed slightly.

"Oh My!" the horned girl cried out as soon as she felt the small but steady flow of blood on her head, " Are you all right Mokou?!" Mokou simply shrugged as the small wound began to patch itself up, "It's fine Keine," she replied. "But what-"Keine said worriedly as she began to ramble about how bad she felt as she inspected the small wound. The inspecting soon turned into caressing, as it didn't take long for the two to look each other in the eyes, and for their faces to slowly move together…

"SURPRISE!" Kogasa yelled as she jumped out of a particularly tall bamboo stalk and startled the would-be couple, this didn't end well, as soon she found herself in the lap of a certain pyro, and she did not look happy ( 'So close too…' thought Keine). "Keine… is this some kind of joke…?" Mokou said slowly through gritted teeth. "I don't know…" Keine said as she cracked her knuckles, neck, and quite a few other things that shouldn't be cracked, "But let's find out."

Now Kogasa didn't know a thing about these two, she just thought that they were a random human –youkai couple, the type that's been springing up a lot nowadays. However, the karakasa recognized a murderous glare when she saw one (the blame was on Sanae's part of course) so she immediately began sliding backwards on her tuchus in a direction that she hoped would get her away from the two. Mokou, however, recognized the direction she was going in as one of the several ways to Eintei.

"Wait a second," Mokou said as she had a moment of flawed logic," that little twit must be spying on us for Kaguya! She must have fallen out of that bamboo stalk by accident and yelled to keep some dignity!"

While this might have made sense for Mokou, it did little to sway Keine, who didn't care what the karakasa was doing; just that she separated herself from Mokou. "Now then," Keine said with a sadistic smile on her face , "Let's teach her a little _**lesson, **_Shall we?"

Kogasa was already scared, but when you see a horned person who just cracked some very weird places on herself approach you with intent of Yuuka-level sadism, well, she did what any sane person would do.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH HHHH!" Kogasa quickly stood up and began the limited flying she could do, but of course she did this in the direction she was already heading to, which then caused Mokou to begin her rampage, which caused Keine to join in as well. "Why me….?" Kogasa thought as she grazed fireballs and talismans alike, in an effort to stay alive. All in all, the karakasa was not having a fun night.

Meanwhile, Tewi was watching the whole thing unfold a small distance away, of course she had to remain silent through the meeting, as she did such things often, but as soon as all of them left, well, she simply exploded with laughter.

"Man, ya just never see one as good azzat! Hahahahahahaha! She even ran off to Eintei! Hahahahahahaha! Whew…" Tewi gently took in a small breath as she brushed a tear from her eye. "Well, better get over there to make sure dem two don't fight again, they keep burning down parts of the forest whenever they do that." And so, the little earth rabbit merrily made her way back to Eintei.

Sanae

"Why haven't I been able to find her lately?" Sanae said out loud as she passed by the Bamboo Forest, which produced many loud screams of terror.

" Weird, Kaguya usually doesn't scream too much, and Kogasa can't cause so much terror, well, I haven't been able to find her all day, so I'll call it a night." Sanae said as she began flying back towards the Youkai Mountain, ignoring the many screams in the background.

* * *

Anyways, sanks to all readers, and any requests for a different character for Kogasa to annoy are always welcome, sank you and bye, Kweh. Damned formatting issues...


	2. Chapter 2

**Ah, here we are, another chapter, if anything, I wanna try to get out 2 chapters a week, but hey, Lazy person here. Besides, I'm not too confident in my writing ability, but anyways, please r/r and enjoy! Victim dis time around is Reisen, the lunar booneh. Thanks to The All-Mighty Kei for the review. **

The full moon's rays shone brilliantly on the walls of Eintei, the House of Eternity. One of its occupants, a tall girl who was wearing a short blue skirt, which led up to a plain white blouse with a bright red tie, next to the tie, was a gift from her fellow inhabitant, Tewi Inaba, a small carrot pin, she had pale lavender hair which flowed down to just below her shoulders, and atop her head, were a pair of tall, wrinkled rabbit ears that looked like a pair of socks more than anything else, She was walking towards a small building to the side of Eintei, with a sign that said "Eintei Pharmaceuticals."

For most people, this was a place of salvation from even the most deadly of diseases, provided they came on time, but for the girl – Reisen- it was a place of utter despair. Having to Label every bottle of medicine so carefully, that if it were even a millimeter off, she would receive "punishment" from her master, the Brain of the Moon, Eirin Yagokoro, atop many other things, 'twas not that Reisen didn't like the work or her master, was simply that the workload was unbelievable.

" Ugh, humans just keep getting sick," Reisen complained quietly while making her way to the pharmacy "Oh, my head hurts, oh my knees hurt, oh my stomach hurts," she listed as she walked. "They just never stop! Even if I have a headache, I still work, but I don't complain, I don't know why they're so weak..." Reisen said as she finally made her way to the door, when it suddenly opened. "Maybe because a headache to you is as good as a migraine to them, and that's for one of your incredibly small headaches." A new voice said.

Opening the door was a slender woman who looked to be in her mid-20s, despite the braided silver hair that made its way from underneath the red and blue nurse's cap atop her head, down the one-piece similarly designed dress, with the only noticeable difference being constellations on the dress, all the way to the small of her back. "Udonge," Eirin said with a slight glimmer in her eyes, "You're late." All Reisen could do was stand there and watch as her master slowly made her way towards her...

* * *

It was a month after the incident with Mokou and Keine, and Kogasa was at it again. Since she eventually grew tired of surprising human and Youkai couples, she went back to scaring individuals. She was surprising (or at least trying to) an old man who was taking a stroll next to the Bamboo forest of The Lost, but she was met with little success.

"Surprise!" Kogasa yelled as she jumped out from behind a bamboo stalk (creative, huh?).

"Eh, what was that?" the old man replied as he squinted, trying to make out the blue figure that suddenly appeared.

"I said…" Kogasa said as she drew in a breath, "SURPRISE!"

"Oh, it's you Kamishirasawa-sensei," The old man concluded (village man, blue person must be Keine) "Nice night for a walk isn't it?"

"Bah, this is getting nowhere," Kogasa muttered as she began waving and walking away.

"A good night to you too, Kamishirasawa-sensei," The old man said as he continued his slow walk.

That was Kogasa's third failure of the night; she couldn't even scare an old man, which of course, was incredibly damaging for her pride. "Humph," Kogasa sniffled as she sat on a rock, "Why can't I scare anyone...?" Kogasa slowly came to tears, until she saw a pink flash in the not so distant forest. "Hm? It must be Tewi... she can give me luck so I can scare someone! She owes me one too..." Kogasa said as she began to take chase after the small pink object in the distance.

Kogasa made good progress, and soon, she caught up to the small child-like entity, which decided to sit on a rock and hum. 'Now's my chance' Kogasa thought as she drew her umbrella. "Kyaaaa!" Kogasa yelled as she used her umbrella's tongue to cover the small thing in spit while, or at least, that what was planned, but gravity didn't like Kogasa, so it decided to take her and her umbrella on a joyride , right onto the forest floor.

"Hah! Got ya now Tewi!" Kogasa yelled as she quickly recovered from her face plant, lifting Tewi up by the collar of her shirt when...

"Take it easy!" A bodied Tewi yukkuri said as it trembled in fear. Meanwhile, Kogasa could have sworn she heard a chuckle in the distance.

"Bah, I've had enough of this!" Kogasa yelled as she threw the Tewi and flew off in a random direction.

* * *

"Now, Udonge, what have we learned from this..?" Eirin asked a bruised and slightly bloody Reisen. "Reisen must not be late; Reisen must be on time every day and never be late..." Reisen whispered as she trembled slightly.

"Good girl!" Eirin cooed, "Now, hurry along and take that vat of chemicals back to Eintei, Marisa brought it to me to see what it could do without blowing up the side of her house... again." Eirin pointed to a large grey vat filled to the brim with a suspicious thick liquid that changed from a light blue to a light purple color every so often.

"O-ok, m-m-master..." Reisen said as she limped towards the vat and attempted to lift it. Her knees bent, and her arms wobbled, but she managed to lift the vat she slowly moved towards the entrance with it.

"Remember, Udonge," Eirin said as Reisen slowly made her way out the door, "Spill and we all know what will happen, yes?" Reisen would have shivered, but somehow held it in as Eirin was right there watching her.

'I wonder which would be worse' Reisen thought as she moved a few inches, 'the vat, or master, the vat... or master...'

* * *

Kogasa had been flying around aimlessly for a while, and had managed to end up at Eintei, again.

"Hey, it's been awhile since I've been here..." Kogasa mused as she floated around idly, having calmed down since her encounter with the Tewi. As she kept floating, she heard what could only be described as fevered groaning, "..." Kogasa slowly began to blush until she heard a voice groan, "Master..." This of course only caused the blushing to increase tenfold.

However, Kogasa's curiosity overcame her restraint by a factor of 9, so she and her umbrella slowly turned the corner, to see Reisen slowly making her way to Eintei (She was about 2% of the way). "Hm, this looks promising..." Kogasa thought as she slowly floated towards Reisen.

"Almost there..." Reisen said as she managed to move another few inches, when Kogasa began to slowly walk behind her, catching up very quickly as Reisen's ambulatory speed was incredibly slow. Reisen looked down to attempt to catch a breath, when she saw a shadow that was not unlike half a circle, with a large hole similar to an eye, scared, she was about to turn around when..."SURPRISE!" Kogasa yelled as loud as her Karakasa lungs would let her.

In a rush of adrenaline, Reisen shrieked and threw up the vat above the two, causing it to turn upside down and dump all of its contents on the two, causing them to run around screaming.

"AH! WHAT IS THIS?!" Kogasa yelled as she ran in circles, "I DON'T KNOW!" Reisen shouted as she was on a direct intersecting course with Kogasa, causing the two to end up in a mess of tangled limbs.

Eirin and the residents of Eintei had come out to see what all the yelling was about, and Eirin was the first to respond, "My, Udonge, I didn't know you were into this kind of stuff," Eirin said with a slight chuckle as a few rabbits manage to untangle the two.

"What? No, no, no it's not like that master! "Reisen said as she sat up with Kogasa right next to her, eliciting a raucous laughter from everyone. " Sure it isn't Inaba," Kaguya said as she lifted her sleeve to hide her mouth while chuckling.

"Why me..." Reisen groaned as the laughter only continued, showing no signs of stopping.

* * *

"Ah, so she's been seen around Eintei?" Sanae said as she finished talking to Keine, "Ok, thank you Kamishirasawa- sensei," Sanae said as she flew away. 'So that's why I haven't been able to find her, " Sanae said with a small glimmer in her eyes. "Just you wait, Kogasa, I'll get you yet!"

* * *

**Kweh, forgot to put this, eheh, anyways, requests are always welcome in review or PM form, so please, send your request for any 'victim' you want, and I'll make an attempt to make the story funny for all the lil Kogasa fans out there. Anyways, Sanae's slow, isn't she? Took her a month to find out where Kogasa's been sighted, maybe it's the shrine upkeep, I blame Suwako.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay, my teachers have decided that homework is something best given in surplus, anyways, I'm gonna try to give you hungry lil readers some more chapters, but please review after reading, it helps.( No seriously, that's where I get my ideas -.-) Victim this week is Kyouko Kasodani, our favorite lil Yamabiko, wait, Yamabiko, Yama... I think Eiki is related somehow. (Loud voice must be good for lectures)**

The sun's rays fell upon the Myouren Temple, most of its occupants having woke up already decided to make tea, the smell wafting out of the temple creating a relaxing atmosphere. One Kyouko Kasodani stepped out, broom in hand as she stretched to wake herself up. "Ah, it's really nice this morning…best begin sweeping, I wonder who'll visit today…." Kyouko said as she went around the temple grounds, becoming a pink and blue blur as she swept fallen leaves maddeningly.

"Haaah," Kyouko said, having finished the majority of the temple grounds, she went back to the entrance to greet any visitors and get rid of some of the unwelcome ones. Some youkai were against Byakuren's goals, and took it upon themselves to tell it to her personally, as in, flying in, danmaku blazing like a certain shrine-maiden.

"This seems like a promising day," Kyouko said, having slowed down hew sweeping speeds to Reimu level and looking back at the Temple, "Very promising indeed."

* * *

Kogasa had finally gotten herself away from the Bamboo Forest, deciding that it was nothing but failure for her, and had decided to go back to the Myouren Temple.

"Ah, at least here I can always surprise that one old lady who passes through the graveyard once a month; it's not that long a wait anyways..." Kogasa said to herself as she floated in the front entrance to the Temple grounds.

"Good Morning!" said a cheerful voice, belonging to Kyouko as she swept the temple grounds, turning around to welcome a worshipper, but instead getting an eyeful of Kogasa as the Karakasa got rather close.

"Oh, it's just you," Kyouko said with a slight edge in her voice, "Go away, you're no good here."

"But I like it here!" Kogasa pouted, waving her umbrella slightly for emphasis, "Besides, what's the problem with me being here?"

"You always scare away old Grandma Hanasaka!" Kyouko said as a few flecks of umbrella spit landed on her, "Besides, you annoy almost all of the temple goers, and me too!" Kyouko said as an anger vein started to appear quite visibly on her forehead. "Now leave before I force you to!"

"And why would I leave?" Kogasa asked innocently. "You already know! Now LEAVE!" Kyouko yelled, her knuckles turning white from how hard she was holding her broom.

"Doesn't Byakuren say that we have to be welcoming to all youkai?" Kogasa said, enjoying teasing Kyouko. "You're the exception!** LEAVE**!" As Kyouko yelled, she shouted almost as loud as she could, creating large shockwave of sound.

"Waaah!" Kogasa yelled, flying away from the shockwaves and swinging her umbrella at Kyouko, who blocked it with her broom, only to be tongued by the umbrella.

"Gah! Enough!" Kyouko yelled, having wiped off the saliva and continuously shouting at Kogasa, who simply flew around the temple grounds, dodging the shockwaves hurriedly. "Calm down Kyouko, this isn't like you!" Kogasa yelled as she very nearly grazed several bullets that the Yamabiko was firing as she continued her assault.

"No! I'm tired of you making me seem worse than that Chinese gatekeeper who sleeps all the time!" Kyouko yelled, firing many more bullets in an attempt to shoot down the Karakasa.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the SDM...

"And I expect you to do your job for once and keep the black-white out!" Sakuya yelled as Meiling made her way out of the SDM.

"Don't worry Sakuya –san! I Will!*achoo*" Meiling yelled as she arrived at the gate, "Weird, I don't remember getting a cold." Meiling said as she pulled out a napkin from who knows where.

Meiling blew her nose, and while she was doing that, a certain black and white witch came along. "Bye China~ [Love Sign] Master Spark!" Marisa yelled as she flew inside the SDM at high speeds. "CHINA!"

"My name is Hong Meiling!" Meiling said, turning around to get a face full of love flavored laser.

* * *

"Hah, hah, hah..." Kyouko was out of breath, not being used to shouting and firing bullets continuously for long periods of time, as the 'fight between her and Kogasa had lasted for about 5 minutes. "Oooh, Byakuren's gonna be mad when she sees this..." Kogasa said as she landed next to Kyouko, many parts of the temple having been damaged from Kyouko's attacks. "Kyouko, having caught her breath, looked around to survey the damage.

Craters covered the ground at irregular intervals, large and small holes alike covered the walls from shouts and danmaku respectively, and the little pile of leaves Kyouko had swept up earlier had been mercilessly shot down. (Nooooo!)

"What am I going to do...?" Kyouko said dejectedly as she looked around the temple grounds nervously.

"You could start by apologizing to Kogasa," a serene, calm, and motherly voice flowed out from the temple. Byakuren Hijiri stepped out, her clothes and hair being pushed by some wind kept exclusively to her.

"Hijiri-san!" Kyouko said as she stood up abruptly, causing Kogasa to leap back a bit. "It was Kogasa who started it though!"

"Now, now, Kyouko, she hardly did a thing to you, and she was even trying to calm you down," Byakuren cooed, going over to Kogasa and ruffling her hair.

"Now, since it'll take some time to repair this, we all know how Minamitsu gets when the ship is damaged, I have an idea." Byakuren said, a Koishi style light bulb appearing above her head. "Kyouko, why don't you travel with Kogasa to make sure she doesn't get herself in too much trouble?"

"...WHAT!?" this came from both Kyouko and Kogasa, "She'll end up getting me killed!" The pair said in unison, "Stop it!"

"It'll be good for the two of you, run along now, and play nice." Byakuren said, turning around to look at the temple.

"Come on Kyouko! It'll be fun!" Kogasa said as she grabbed Kyouko's hand and began flying up. "If she doesn't end up getting herself killed, I will..." Kyouko said as she flew up with Kogasa, broom in hand.

"Good morning Hijiri-san!" Sanae said as she landed on the temple grounds, "Have you seen Kogasa? I've been looking for her." Sanae said with a slight twitch in her left eye.  
"Hello Sanae-chan," Byakuren said, "She flew off in that direction," she said, pointing in the vague direction of where Kogasa was last seen flying. "Thank you Hijiri-san!" Sanae said, flying off at near top speed in the direction pointed. "Ah, how nice it is to lead her astray, if only for a bit," Byakuren said as she turned back to the temple, "Ichirin! Where's Unzan?!"

**Let's see how this turns out, I wasn't even planning it originally, oh well~ Please review, it gets the laziness out o my system. **


End file.
